Tangled

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What a strange twisty turny road this is. The cobblestones of this journey have a way of making parts of my past echo in my mind, making me fixate on the people I miss, the conversations I remember, how it felt to make discoveries together as we delicately danced through the forest of words that mask and tangle our meanings. It feels good to have loved ones, to know that our connection remains even though I am sailing across the Earth in the direction of away.

It is strange to be a traveler, but then again in many ways it feels like I am being me. There are only two elements of this experience that feel unnatural to me. I miss getting to share everything with all of my loved ones, and having them participate in a shared journey, and I long for far more physics time. On both fronts I long for more discovery conversation. We spend so much time a day taking care of just survival, food, getting to where we are going, cleaning Wiggles, staying organized, and absorbing each new place, that the only really meaningful conversations that soak through my skin are the ones that are about the feel of each new place – and these tend to be mostly wordless. I recall the old adage that lower minds focus on things, medium minds focus on people, and great minds focus on ideas. Every now and then part of me feels like the ideas in me are a bit trapped, and I miss having the outlet I used to have. All this focus on places seems a bit narrow to me at times, especially when it comes to the Cathedrals in each town. On the other hand, the newness, and the extent to which this trip has thrown me out of my comfort zone, does help stoke my creativity fire.

Still, I would love to talk with someone right now about the idea that the state vector in quantum mechanics might actually best apply as a description of an ensemble – a collection of the quanta that make up the local spacetime region and how those arrangements may evolve. This assumption would explain why quantum mechanics is restricted to statistical descriptions (so long as we remain restricted to four dimensional information, relying on the state vector). This is a beautiful idea because if space is quantized, then the ambiguity that currently plagues quantum mechanics collapses, and we gain a way to understand the math currently attached to its predictions.

I would also love to just be on a walk right now with one of you, talking like we used to, allowing our connection to continue to grow as we mutually learn more about ourselves and each other. I miss you. I wish you could all be here right now, sharing this adventure. Not having a home (structure) is perfectly fine with me, but not having my loved ones all with me is strange.

Today we drove Wiggles through a place that reminded me of Morocco, or at least what I’ve seen of Morocco from National Geographic. We were wading through people on streets packed with bright colored things hanging off the walls, bursting into every square inch that could be filled. It was amazing to me that we could still fit. The people seemed nearly oblivious to Wiggles pushing through the crowd at one kilometer per hour. In the center of town was another elaborate Cathedral. From all sides of town people were on some kind of pilgrimage to the Cathedral, walking on the highway into town. When they arrived they crawled on their knees up the hallway in the Cathedral. It was amazing to be in the right place at the right time to see into the lives of the people here, but that glimpse also came as a slight sigh to me, recognizing the pain and suffering that their myths are reinforcing. Such things always make me hope for the future, for a world in which people are not held down, where there are no class distinctions, where all people have the option to turn to truth, and discovery for inspiration, and have ready access to routes that allow this. Elaine and Phil have often remarked that they are surprised that I was able to come away from my time in prison hoping for a better future instead of fixating on the flaws of the present. For me understanding human suffering is the same thing as hoping for a better future. Humans will all take the better route if they are given the proper chance. Class restrictions, religion, dogma, crime, etc. can all dissolve if we simply learn to understand each other – which in the end amounts to learning to understand ourselves in a much richer capacity.

xoxo
Thad

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